in 75 BCE, 25 year old Julius Caesar was sailing home on the Aegean sea to return to his newly acquired home his father left him upon his death. He sailed on a tiny ship to go to the new house when he was captured by a group Sicilian pirates.
The pirates took Caesar, 2 of his servants, and a friend of his to their ship as a prisoners and demanded a ransom of 20 talents (roughly $600,000). Rather than freak out and panic for his life, Caesar laughed in their faces. He demanded the pirates ask for 50 talents as 20 was too cheap and they obviously did not know who they had captured. Puzzled, the pirates demanded 50 talents instead. Caesar had his men go collect the silver talents for his freedom. It took them 38 days to get the money.
During his time in captivity with the pirates, Julius Caesar maintained an attitude of superiority. He seemed completely unshaken by the pirates and treated them like they were his subordinates. He spent most of his time with them writing poetry and speeches and then reciting them to the pirates who happened to enjoy the entertainment. Caesar also played games with the pirates and took part in their exercises. He generally acted like he was the captain of the ship and the pirates seemed to be okay with that. Caesar even went as far as to demand the pirates not talk too loudly when he slept as he did not want to be waken up. What a damn badass move that is let me tell ya.
After some time the pirates began to really like Caesar and gave him more freedom on the ship and their island. He was able to walk around as he pleased and seemed to live pretty comfortably with them all things considered. However, he was still a prisoner so they still had some restrictions on his freedom no matter how much they like him. Although he was friendly with the pirates he still hated being help captive. He promised the pirates that when he is freed he would find them and crucify them. The pirates laughed at him “yeah okay bro good luck with that lol”.
Once Caesar was freed He did what he said. He formed a band of 100 men and went looking for the island he was held captive on. The pirates did not take him seriously as when his men got to the island the pirates were still there. He captured all the pirates, took the 50 talents back, and took pretty much all their possessions and returned to Rome. He eventually ordered the pirates crucified as he had promised them.
Moral of the story: Caesar is one damn charismatic badass.
It is hard to discuss history in Europe without bringing up a few main players that shook the world. A few names that come to mind are: Genghis Khan, Julius Caesar, Alexander the Great, Britney Spears, and you guessed it, Napoleon I.
5’7″ is more intimidating on A horse
You could say he was a true bad-ass at any point in his life. He fought in the French Revolution, he defeated every major power in Europe at the time in many battles, I’m talking Prussia, England, Austria, Russia, and Poland just to name a few. He also created the Napoleonic code which was basically a constitution for the brand new revolutionary France (It is still used today by the French government), the French people loved him, he reestablished relations between France and the Pope, defeated and dissolved the 1,000 year old Holy Roman Empire, he even sold the Louisiana territory to the United States which without we would never be as powerful as we are now. Yes, you can thank good old Napoleon for selling us literally a third of the land the U.S. calls home today.
All this for $15 million? Worth it!
However, those events are not the reason why he is a bad-ass frog. The story we will be looking at is his return to France after exile. It is a long story filled with blood and battle and spicy emotions but to catch you up on what happened is Napoleon went on a victory spree in Europe. Army after army tried defeating him and he just kept winning. Mind you he wasn’t just fighting a major super power at the time, he was fighting 5 of them, and he just kept winning.
Unfortunately in 1814 it all came crashing down. The emperor Napoleon finally lost the war. England would have loved to simply just execute Napoleon but due to some basic rules of nobility at the time, they were unable to justify an execution. The rules back then were generally that aristocrats and peasants could be executed no problem, but executing nobility (especially Pope crowned emperors in Napoleon’s case) can be a nightmare politically for all involved. Even though Napoleon was technically an insurgent leader not from nobility but rather rose to the top through merit, it was still a grey area and they opted to just exile him. They chose the island of Elba off the coast of Italy.
Elba must be a pretty sweet spot to hangout for the summer to be honest.
This is where the story gets REALLY good. So Napoleon was living in this sweet dream of an island for about a year in 1815 under watch. Living on this island he was obviously unable to stir the pot which he loved so much in Europe. He also had to see his Empire dissolved and the throne given to some square name Louis XVIII who was royalty and not that great to the French people.
Not even a full year had passed by and Napoleon was already trying to escape the Island to go to France. He slipped passed his Austrian guards and British ships patrolling the water and managed to find a little boat to sail away in. He had escaped the island.
He made his way home on foot once he got to land and people on the countryside noticed him. They would get very excited and celebrate his return to France. He was a hero. The closer he got the more people would join and rally behind him. Peasants especially took a liking to Napoleon as he was a true son of the revolution. He managed to gather 1,000 peasants up in arms for his return to be ready to fight the royalist government currently holding the power.
He marched unopposed into France gathering more and more support from the people until he reached Grenoble. It is there his forces were stopped by the 5th regiment. This regiment was under the command of the new king at the time. Many of them, being veterans, knew who Napoleon was and most likely fought battles with him, but nonetheless they stood their ground.
So here we are, Napoleon’s peasant army standing still looking the Nobility-aligned French army dead in the eye within talking distance. Both forces just standing there waiting for something to happen. The situation must have been very tense. Then suddenly, The peasant army’s ranks opened up like a parting sea to reveal a 5’7″ man walking in between the two armies to the open space before them. It was Napoleon. He looked at the 5th regiment intensely, scanning the ranks confidently and stoically. After a deafening silence he then ripped open his coat and shouted to them “If there is any man among you who would kill his emperor, Here I stand!”. With that the 5th army threw their weapons to the ground and greeted Napoleon. They were just as happy as the peasant farmers were that he was back and they decided to join his cause and fight for him to be on the throne.
5th regiment celebrating Napoleon’s return to France
They went on to secure the throne for Napoleon without a shot ever being fired. Yes, you read that right, Napoleon was able to become the emperor again without a single person dying. When people heard of his return the whole empire celebrated and rejoiced. Louis XVIII was so nervous he just up and left the throne.
That is the most bad-ass thing I think I have ever heard of in my entire life. Reclaiming the most powerful seat in Europe just by being a man of the people. It is important to note one reason why they really loved him so much was that he wasn’t born into nobility like every other leader in Europe. He grew up in obscurity on a tiny island. He became so powerful by being charismatic and one of the greatest military leaders to date. What a bad-ass.
Mansa Musa of Mali was and still is the richest person to have ever lived on this planet. He reigned over the kingdom of Mali located in west Africa during the 14th century. Originally he was an adviser to the king who went on a boat trip across the ocean only to never return again. Mansa then took the crown as being next in the line of succession.
He traded many spices and also owned many of the gold mines in Mali at the time. To say they produced an inconceivable amount of gold would be a very large understatement. Adjusting for inflation, its estimated he had $400 billion. The second richest person to ever live was John D. Rockefeller with an estimated $318 billion dollars. If you are too lazy to do the math, that’s an $82 billion difference. You and I are lucky to see $1 million in our lifetime to put that in perspective.
Mansa Musa was also a devout Muslim and believed that it was his duty to make the pilgrimage to Mecca. With him on this pilgrimage he took 60,000 companions and 80 camels carrying 50 to 300 pounds of gold each. Along his way he would hand out gold to beggars, overpay purposely at markets, and tip insane amounts of gold to servants he crossed paths with in good will as he believed it was his duty to his god to give to his fellow man.
Many of the places he traveled through were great cities like Cairo, Medina, and you guessed it, Mecca. These places, although being very large and wealthy trading cities, had such an influx of gold due to his generosity it actually affected the global economy and the value of gold dropped significantly.
His vast wealth was so great and talked about that even the European countries (which typically ignored African kingdoms) noted the kingdom of Mali on their maps and even illustrated Mansa Musa’s wealth on those maps!
Map used by Europeans depicting Mansa Musa of Mali
Once returned home from his pilgrimage, Mansa Musa used his money for funding great libraries and schools, funding many of the large cities construction projects in his kingdom, and even built a new Mosque every Friday to worship in. Many of the structures he built stand to this day and the most notable one is The Great Mosque of Djenne.
The Great Mosque of Djenne
Mansa Musa died in 1337 handing over the crown to his son. There are many ways for soldiers and generals to be remembered in time but little is more bad ass than charity
William Millin can be seen here playing the pipes for his fellow soldiers
Born in Canada on the 14th of July, 1922 to a Scottish father, William Millin was commonly known by others as Piper Bill.
Bill joined the Territorial Army in Fort William, where his family had moved and played in the pipe bands of the highland light infantry and the Queen’s Own Cameron Highlanders before volunteering as a commando in World War 2 under the command of Lord Lovat.
Bill gained notoriety during the invasion of Normandy on June 6, 1944 better known as D-Day. Bill was part of the invasion as he landed on Sword beach which was one of the five main landing areas along the coast of Normandy that the British army was responsible for.
Landing on Sword beach you can see Piper Bill in the foreground with his bagpipe ready to fight with the sweet sounds of the Queen’s music
Traditionally been used by Scottish and Irish warriors, bag pipers had to stay in the rear of combat as they could easily be shot by the enemy. When ordered to to get on the front line Bill questioned his commanding officer Lord Lovat citing the regulations given by the English military. Lord Lovat then interjected saying “Ah, but that’s the English War Office. You and I are both Scottish, and that doesn’t apply.”
Bill proceeded to advance the beach wearing a traditional Scottish kilt and playing the songs of his people such as: “Highland Laddie”, “The Road to the Isles” and other such songs as bullets ripped through his comrades around him.
After the beach was captured from the occupying German forces, Bill later questioned the German soldiers that had been captured. He asked why they had not shot him as he pushed the beach but they shot everyone else. They replied to him saying they saw and heard the bag pipes on his back but simply thought he had gone mad during the battle.
After the war, He was awarded the Legion D’honneur for gallantry in June 2009. Piper Bills’ bagpipes which he named his “campaign pipes” were later donated the now Pegasus Bridge Museum in France
Piper Bill was not only an inspiring symbol for the Scottish during the battle but he also became a bona fide bad ass ever since.
